I babysat my one-year-old nephew in church today. He is such an adorable child! His striking photogenic smile attracts so many admirers, young and old alike. When we sing in church, he takes up his hymnal and bobs his head to the tune. He laughs and giggles when we talk in the phone. The kid is so cute, strangers often walk up to him at the mall and ask us for his name. Once, he was even invited to audition as a model for Baby Mossimo. I've even heard some friends and coworkers who are conniving and plotting on kidnapping him. There is, however a moment when all of his cuteness vanish....when he has a temper tantrum. When he doesn't get what he wants, you'll see him transform. Maybe if he were green, he would look like the Incredible Hulk. He jumps up and down, screams, stomps his feet, kicks... If he would do that in a wrestling match, I'm sure he would win.
I'm glad that my sister knows exactly what to do when he does that. She takes out the "love stick". Says in a calm, yet stern voice, "Baby, look at me. If you don't stop that, Mama will spank you." He's old enough to understand. Sometimes he stops. Sometimes he doesn't. When he doesn't, his mama will take him out of the room, spank him on the palm, and wait until he is calm enough to hug her as his way of saying "sorry".
So many people oppose to spanking. So many think that hitting a child as a way of discipline is a very violent thing. I tell you, it's not--as long as you do it in love, and not in anger. Hmm..hit a child "in love". Sounds so contradicting, doesn't it? I beg to disagree. Look at it this way: When you love someone, you will do only what is best for that person, right? If you see a child who is doing wrong, will you not try to teach him what is right? "But he's just a child," some people argue. My point exactly. A child is a learning being. Everything we adults know now, we began learning as children. A very wise proverb says "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Training starts young. Childhood is the stage when a person is being molded into the person he is to become. Every attitude and behavior will be manifested into adulthood.
I know, I know...I don't have kids of my own. Maybe people will say I'm not licensed to comment on child rearing. But I practically raised my youngest brother. I spanked him, talked to him, hugged him as a baby. Now he's a teenager, and he has no hard feelings against me. He even tells me he loves me everyday. Sweet kid. And another thing, my dad raised me and my siblings with the exact same discipline. I guess I'll proudly say I got spanked the least. Hehe. But he did spank us at every disobedience, every lie, every deceit. And we never hated him for it. We know he did it in love. He never shouted. He never yelled. He would talk to us first then ask us if we knew that what we did was wrong. A typical conversation went like this.
Abba (my dad): Do you know why I have to spank you?
Me: I did something wrong.
Abba: What did you do?
Me (hesitating): I...disobeyed...you...
Abba: Is God happy with what you did?
Me (shakes my head..crying a bit)
Abba: So now, I have to spank you. So you won't forget to obey. Hold out your hand.
Me (holds out hand)
Abba: WHACK!!
Me: Sniffle sniffle...huhuhu (I never wailed. I just cried silently)
Abba: What do you have to say?
Me: I'm sorry. Please forgive me.
Abba: You're forgiven. I love you. Now, I want to see a happy face.
Me (try to smile through the tears)
Abba: That looks like a wince. Haha. Go wash your face.
He hugs me and it's over.
I gotta be proud of myself and say I was the easiest to discipline among the three of us (prior to the youngest brother's birth). The brother who came after me was more hard headed. Their conversation usually went like this:
Abba: Hold out your hand.
Brother (shakes his head)
Abba: If you don't hold out your hand, I'll spank you twice.
Brother holds out his hand.
Abba brings the stick down.
Brother dodges the stick.
This goes on several times until brother submits, realizing Abba is stronger.
(After being spanked for his sin, and again for dodging)
Abba: I want to see a happy face.
Brother (frowns)
Abba: A happy face.
Brother (shakes his head)
Abba: A happy face or another spanking?
Brother *SMILES*
We all crack up when we remember these moments. Maybe people think I have a strict, brutal father. But no. We all testify--as adults we testify that if he had not taught us like he did, we would have ugly tendencies in our childhood which we would grow with us into adulthood. All three of us kids have thanked him and my mom for disciplining us. For teaching us. And even for hitting us to remind us.
This probably sounds crazy to most people. But I know others who have done it. My church friends who were spanked as children and they've grown to be fine young men and women. Those who were spared from the rod...well...sad to say they're the wayward ones.
There is so much to discuss when it comes to child rearing and child discipline. So much debate going on. But one thing is for sure...using the "love stick" works. Tried and tested. This is a true story.
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